The New Year is well under way and it looks like it's going to be a busy one!
2015 was awfully good to me and I expect nothing less from 2016.
For those who know me or have come to know me, can attest to the sheer diversity I have in my life. I am into all kinds of things! This year will be no different!
Last year, Daddy's Girl was released and given great reviews. This year, A Detour Home will continue the series in Bakersfield, AR with some familiar names, and introduce new characters to grow our lovely family.
Last year, this site was all about me.
Late last year I opened up the Book Club to allow new authors an opportunity to get their work in front of new audiences. And you, my audience, my readers, my friends have made them feel very welcome and I am so happy and proud that you have warmly accepted these new visitors.
They find me through a website called Fiverr and they pay five dollars to promote their book. I started this because my on-line bills were starting to out weigh their income, so the Fiverr would off-set it and help me out. I didn't want to compromise my site with a bunch of unsightly banners or advertisements so this seemed to fit in nicely. And, thanks to you, it now completely pays for all my websites, fees, and other silly stuff I am responsible for.
Sure, it started with the intention for a small income, but then I was able to "meet" some of these brilliant authors! There's a little bit of everything in the Book Club! If you need a new read (and you've already read my whole collection, Lol) there are SO many choices!! My to-read list is growing by leaps and bounds. There is fiction and non-fiction and something for every age group! I am so happy I chose to do this.
One of my favorite quotes by Zig Zigglar is, "You can have everything you want, if you help others to get what they want." That is SO true! I love seeing these new authors post their books on my site! They are so passionate and creative and amazing! And, like I said, you have made them feel so welcome!!
(And I know your favorite way to correspond with me is through e-mail, but I would be so grateful if you'd show a little love in the comment sections. These authors could use some positive feedback! Don't be shy! They are good people and who doesn't need a little positive reinforcement?)
Next- at the end of 2015, my daughter and I opened a vapor shop called Phoenix Vapes. Talk about a new world!! I am learning so much! If you are unfamiliar, it is proving to be the best, and healthiest option for people to quit smoking. The most common term is the e-cis, or electronic cigarette. (It is WAY more complex than that, but I didn't want to bore you with all kinds of extra details! It opened in November and we are still in the scary first quarter stage, but I am feeling pretty good about it. It's my first "brick and mortar" venture for quite some time and let me tell you how it not only sucks up money, but it sucks up quite a bit of time as well!! So, my writing has been put on the back burner for a minute until I can create a new schedule that includes everything. For the last few months Phoenix Vapes has been front and center, but now I need to get back to my writing.
Which brings me to...
More website changes... I am thinking of taking down the on-line store of this website and just promote my books and my upcoming events and of course, the Book Club. My goal for 2016 is to expand to the online courses we've talked about before, but time has not allowed it to happen. I'm not ignoring your requests, by any means... I just have to get back into the swing of things.
I was told that if I wanted to go down all these separate paths that I was going to have to divide into separate entities. Apparently, they were right.
Whoo! This blog turned out to be longer than I expected! Lol! But there you have it... So, if I'm missing from here, check one of the other sites or I'll be helping the world quit smoking!
Thanks for sticking by me...
Links you might be interested in:
Visit the Elizabeth Bourgeret's Book Club and see what she means with a huge variety of good reads, study material, audio books, and even coloring books. A little bit of everything. Make these authors feel welcome!
And finally, follow Elizabeth on Facebook!
As many of you know, I am a hairstylist when I am not writing, and I have recently moved from my home state where I'd been living most of my life to someplace completely different. Adapting to the changes have been quite a challenge.
People fascinate me. Now, being an introvert, I like to watch from a distance, but being part of the human race, I eventually have to participate as well. When I was studying relational coaching, my goal was to use it for mainly teens, but I am surprised that I can use this knowledge in every aspect of my life.
I have been a hairstylist, off and on for over 23 years and have belonged to several different shops. The one I left was probably my favorite and the one that I developed the best friendship skills. Granted, this was also the time I was studying my relationship coaching training, so I learned a lot and put new ideas into practice of how to get along with other people. They essentially became my tribe. I belonged. We all looked out for one another. We played together, we worked together, we loved, we lost, we bonded. It was the first time in my life, I had multiple friends. In the past, I had only been able to concentrate on one friend at a time. This became a separate.... family, so to speak. (Like I said, I'm an introvert but never had a name for my "condition" until a few years ago!)
When I moved and started my new job here, it's been an excellent reference as to how complete strangers assimilate to become one team. These twelve people, my new tribe that I had been assigned to- some have worked together before, some knew each other in passing, and I, of course, was completely new... but all of us were new to this franchise and brand new store.
I like watching the natural progression of things grow. How people group together; find different ways to assert their authority; come together to weed out a common enemy, toleration, education and bonding together. It is amazing to watch.
I had been asked to be the leader of our motley crew but had declined. I wanted to devote my time to creating and not so much cutting. But knowing that I am out of the running for a leadership role, I am able to watch the process unfold without bias.
It's a good group of girls here, under a good GM and a positive owner. The shop will do well, and these girls look like they are here to stay. So I am anxious to watch the friendships unfold and to see if it stays "just" co-worker status among them or if they will bond together as a cohesive unit.
I am having a nice time learning who everyone is. They're likes and dislikes, things we have in common, their work practices (how they cut differently than me or customer skills or retail skills). I am fascinated with their family-lives, how many kids they have, boys/girls, ages, married/single. Their hobbies, their joys, their addictions, what makes them laugh.
While I miss the cohesiveness of the tribe I left behind, I am learning so much about myself and the others and this experience is only going to make me a better person by being able to love on these new people.
We have all been thrown together for about a month now, and in that short amount of time I have learned so much about these young women. Their heartbreaks and their trials and the things they are doing to cope. If they have a common denominator among them all, it's strength. I have heard of some of their trials; things that would cripple another human being, but these girls don't give up. They find a new way to keep going. They all have strong family ties and as with everyone, they are all struggling through something. I am humbled that they trust me, an outsider, to tell their troubles to. They don't tell me to "get" something from me, they are just sharing. I am honored that they feel comfortable in such a short window of time to share with me. Apparently, I fall into the "momma" role wherever I go.
It is true that people fade in and out of your life in seasons and that not everyone you meet is supposed to be in your life forever, and sometimes its hard to let go of your "comfort zone", but we can grow stale if we stay in the same "place" for too long. I have discovered that I am a wanderer. I physically need to move from place to place to stay inspired. I think I've known it for a long time but was too afraid to step out of the "norm". But when I say "place", I am more referring to a mental or spiritual attitude if you will. We as humans need to grow. We are created to want other human companionship, and yet its scary to face change. I wish for you to embrace change. Me, the introvert, says reach out and love people. All kinds of people. It doesn't have to be up close and personal, but we can love from a distance as well.
I will have to get used to meeting new people and leaving others behind. And while I feel the need to not settle- at the moment- I hope that I leave behind me a trail of affection and that I touched people's lives with love. I hope that those I come in contact with feel inspired and if I'm lucky, I will have the opportunity to watch their dreams come true. (Facebook at its finest! I can move about the country and still keep track of all my people!)
We all come in contact with people every single day. Make it a positive experience. And while we won't build tribes with all these people and they may only be in your life for a season, (or less), let it be a good experience for all involved. A little love, a little kindness can go a long way. Lead with love.
You're Exactly Where You're Supposed to Be
Sometimes when life gets a little tricky, we tend to think that we are someplace that we were not meant to be. And in the grand scheme of things, that may be true, but whatever brought you to this moment in your life has happened for a reason.
It is easy for us not to face things that are troubling us and so we close our eyes and just hope they go away on their own. But if we keep in mind that everyday, every experience, every meeting can be a learning opportunity. Our mistakes can be used to make us stronger, smarter and help our decisions for the future.
All the choices you have made in your past have brought you to the point to where you stand right now. Good, bad or ugly, you are where you are because of the choices you have made.
There may be reasons that you haven't gotten the success you wanted. It may just be delayed until the time is right or it might not happen at all. I heard a quote from somewhere that says we will be plagued by the same troubles until we have learned the lesson they were sent to teach us. And then another that basically says, What is yours can never miss you (regardless of the paths and sidetracking, if it was meant for you, eventually it will come to you) and what misses you, was never yours. (meaning, there could be things out there that you are struggling with over and over and no matter how hard you try, it will not come to pass.
I had a hard lesson in that example. My history is in the theatre. Live theatre and teaching kids in the arts (dance, drama, art and music). I had helped create and build a theatre company in the early '90's and just assumed that was my path. When I left that theatre company, to start a family, I assumed that I would just open another theatre company where my family resided. That was my path right? But I tried, and struggled and lost thousands of dollars for seven years before one of my student's parents bluntly told me, "Maybe this isn't what you are supposed to be doing."
I was furious! Who did she think she was?! Of course it was! It's all that I know!! I haven't done anything but theatre work for 15 years!! What else would I be doing??
I finally gave in. I was out of money, the Fine Arts Centre that I was running wasn't bringing in enough income... I had to give up. I shut it down, and shut it out of my mind for four years. I had to allow my heart and brain to open up to new ideas and yes, maybe a completely different path for me.
It took a long time and I thought for sure that I was not going to be "allowed" to work with the kids again. But I had to be still long enough to be able to hear God whispering to me.
It has been a long slow journey. There have been many lessons that I have had to learn along the way. And my hard-headedness, didn't make it any easier.
I'm not saying that even if you're on the right path that there won't be bumps and trials. (Hardly!) But as I said before, every day is a chance to learn, to improve, to hear His whispers.
I believe that I am on the right path, for however long, and I am learning to be more sensitive to what the world is trying to tell me. Good, bad or ugly, I am here at this point in my life for a reason. The choices I have made, the decisions I have followed through on and the things I have had to let go... This is my life. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
If you are struggling right now, is there a chance that maybe this is something you're not supposed to have right at this moment? Are there other tasks you are meant to accomplish before "this particular thing" can come to fruition? Are there more teachings, reading, experiences you need to acquire? Are there things, people, places that you are meant to move away from? Or distance yourself from? If you dig deep... could this be the time you need to let go of something that is not meant to be? A hard decision to be sure, but I firmly believe that if you were meant to "have" it, you will. Maybe not now, but when the time is right.
You are where you are supposed to be. Take in all that the universe is trying to teach you and use it to its fullest!
A Big Announcement
Now that the release of my second novel Waiting for the Sun has passed, I can move on to my BIG announcement!!
This has been a long time coming!! I am so excited to announce the official 2014/15 Nationwide Tour of the Total Truth Workshop!!
All year I've been doing smaller beta tests of the workshop to get out some of the bugs and to make sure I'm offering up what the kids need most and I am pleased with the results as are the kids. So the only thing left to do is to take it out on the road!
This is will be my first attempt to travel with this kind of event, but I see it as an adventure! So many new places to see and new families to meet! And lots of good information to be passed around to make a difference in people's lives and futures! I am so excited! (& terrified!)
"I'm so glad someone finally listened to what teens need and not what they think we need."
"I love this workshop. I think it will help a lot of people. Miss Elizabeth is awesome."
"The Total Truth Workshop wasn't boring at all. Miss Elizabeth always thinks for fun things for us to do and before we realize it, it became a lesson."
I'm kicking things off here in my home town of St. Louis, MO first on the last weekend of June, 2014 and then starting off slowly. A weekend here, a weekend there and when school starts back up, I'll really swing into gear hopefully offering two workshops per month through the winter months. What a life change for me! But I welcome it with open arms. I could use a good challenge to keep me on my toes!
I've been working diligently on the website which is now live. (I wish I was more tech savvy, but I am not! So, I had to work at it in bits and pieces at a time.) I am thankful for my support system at St. Louis Onsite (Shout out to Paul Arthur and Joey Felps) and to the newest addition to my tech crew, Ryan Lambert. Ryan is working on making the teen website pop with awesome videos. I am so very blessed to have so much talent around me.
I am also so thankful for my Personal Assistant, Sarah Arnold, she gets my phone work under control and helps keep me on track to what my most present task is. If you only knew how much I needed that!! Lol!
The workshop is starting to get press and is moving along faster than I'm ready for! So that just means I need to work harder and faster!! But I wanted to let all of you know first before it is released to the rest of the world! I am excited that it is getting positive feedback. I hope that helps the Total Truth Workshop get off the ground and have all the weekends sell out!
For those of you that don't know about the Total Truth Workshop, it is a project that I have been "working" on for about six years now. It was going to be just a book called Do It Now or Re-do It Later- and it still will be, but it seemed to me that teens would get more out of the information if it was presented to them in a live, interactive format. When we have the opportunity to experience something over just reading about it, those experiences are more likely to make an impact and stay with us longer. And since creating fun camps and classes are my forte, this seemed like a perfect fit.
So basically, for one weekend, these kids will come and hang out with me and we will work on life lessons, accountability, goal setting, and all the things they won't be taught in high school but NEED to know to be successful in the grown-up world. It's called Total Truth because I won't pull any punches or sugar coat the facts. The real world doesn't care whether you're tired or not feeling well or ran out of money. The world moves on and you need to be ready to move with it or get trampled by it! (I know the trampled part! I don't wish it on anyone!)
It's so much more than sitting in a room and being talked at for three days. I wouldn't want that... I can't think of anyone that would! There are games and dancing and a fun atmosphere. These kids will come out of this event with a good idea of where to go next to make their future one they can look forward to. Instead of waiting to see what opportunities or jobs "fall into their lap" they will have the power and the know how to go and get what they want. They will be given a set of tools to help deal with bumps in the road and letting go of harmful habits and replacing them with productive ones. The workshop also deals a great deal with relationships and communication. Two things that everyone needs to be comfortable with so they can be prepared to deal with the relationships of their future. Bosses, teachers, family members, love interests, co-workers. The information they learn at the workshop will be of use to them the very first day.
This workshop will be a huge asset for those kids who choose to use it. They are not only creating a future for themselves, they are linking with like-minded teens and developing a support system, a mentoring group and new friends that will last them a life-time. And me. I'll be there with them for as long as they need me. I've set up a members only Facebook group, their own membership pages within the website, on-going blog posts to keep them on track and they will have life-time access to me and to any webinars I host.
I am just so excited about this whole thing! This is my life's work. This is what all my years of experiences have led me to. I wish I had something like this when I was in my teen years. I certainly wouldn't have made as many mistakes trying to figure things out as I went. I hope you will come on board and help me spread the news about my new "baby"! I can't wait to share it with the world! I love this age. So many new things coming their way and so many things to learn.
Please comment below or shoot me an email if you'd like to know more information but I'll try and keep everything posted on here so you can see my progress. To find out more about the Total Truth Workshop, please visit the page on this website or you can bounce right to the brand new website to learn all the details! www.totaltruthworkshop.com
Please be happy for me and keep theses prayers and well wishes coming my way, because I need all the encouragement I can get!
BONUS if you or would like to sign up for the Total Truth Workshop (in the St. Louis area), please send me a message in the Contact Me and I'll give you a discount code for HALF OFF!! This offer is only good until June 17th.
(Not in the St. Louis area? Message me anyway and first, let's see when I'll be heading to your city and second, I'll give you a special friends and family discount offer that you can use!)
I had something completely different planned for my blog today, all nice and neat and written out, but I was side-tracked. So please bare with me. I just have to get this out there...
I am participating in a marketing program that is taking my web-site, my blogs, my writings and the things that I offer and scrutinizing them to find my strongest areas and creating the best ways monetize them. This is so very overwhelming. First of all, yes, I do want writing and training to be a career for me. So, I need to change my way of thinking that I can't just write whenever and whatever I want. It has to shift into more of a business mind-set. When they asked where my heart was; what my passions and personal goals were, I told them MY personal goal is to be able to offer fun and interactive workshops for teens. I want to be able to travel from city to city and give them this amazing opportunity to become the best part of themselves and face their future with confidence. I've called it the Total Truth Workshop. I am really proud of it but have not put it into action as yet. (I was waiting until this marketing team gives me feedback, I guess.)
I enjoy all the aspects of my writing "career", but they, the marketing team, have a point, and it is that I am spreading myself too thin. Try as I might, I cannot be all things to all people. I was told to choose. UGH! The agony!! I want to help EVERYONE!!! Why can't I help everyone??
With my history and my happiness, I return, always, to teens. My work in coaching leads me in that direction as well. I enjoy working with families and I do well with relational coaching and seminars. I have been working with kids for over twenty-five years! Whoa! That's saying something!
That time in their life is such a struggle and it seems like we are in a weird "pretending it's not happening" to "micro-managing" to "it's someone else's fault" way of dealing with things. These kids on the verge of adulthood are amazing but no one gives them the credit or the directions they need to make that transition!! I want to help them get everything they want out of life. I want their teenage years to be happy memories. I want them to have the confidence to go after whatever their heart desires regardless of where they came from. There is no other program out there that is offering what I do. It's fun, it's interactive and it's a life-time of support and new friendships. I am excited to get it out there.
Back to the marketing people...
Teens don't pay for my kind of programs. That's where the parents come in. So they suggest that I work on things for parents and then lead the parents into the Total Truth Workshop.
I can do that. I would enjoy doing that... but...
At the moment, I am feeling so overwhelmed and pulled in several directions. I have my fiction followers, my motivational followers, my relationship followers, my Christian followers, my fitness followers and (deep breath).... I don't want to disappoint a single one of them. I do however need to eat. So I am trying to "chunk down my niche." Not sure how I'm going to do this and for just a moment, I wasn't going to do it at all. I was just going to keep on doing what I've always been doing for as long as I could do it... but then...
I went to a couple of the teen support group pages I regularly comment on, and was so overwhelmed by the sadness that was coming from the posts. So much sadness and confusion. They have no foundation within themselves to turn to for strength when times get hard. I help provide that. I can help them. My workshops for teens are created for them. My seminars for families can help heal them. This is where I need to be.
So, it is decided. I will start shifting things in that direction. Teens and family will become my main focus. I do have some projects that are currently in the works that I will complete but I need to narrow my focus to where my heart is needed most and I feel that I am called. So hang with me as this slow shift happens. The exciting thing is that I still get to do all the things that make me happy, write, travel, speak, create, motivate, help others, I'm just narrowing down my target audience even more than before.
So- if you are part of a family (and there's a good chance that you are) and you need to communicate with others, (my area of expertise) then chances are you still might be able to find some value here on my site.
No! No! No! You've got to stop me!! Don't let me try to go back to writing for everyone!! Lol!! I need you to help keep me focused!! I'm so weak!!
Thank you for letting me go off track and vent just a little... I will get things back on track soon! Please, feel free to leave your comments below. I love to hear from you!
Instead of Looking for the Right Person, Become the Right Person
"If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart and the lack of what you don't have. That relationship will end in disaster."
-Les and Leslie Parrott
If I may paraphrase the above, what that comment is saying to me is that if you are looking for someone to "complete you" then you have already lost. I believe they are trying to teach us to become the person we are happy and satisfied with by building our own self-confidence so when the right person comes along, he/she is merely a happy addition to our lives. We don't feel that obsessive NEED for that person. We don't have to have this person or that person because something is missing in our lives. We can be happy on our own, but we can also be ecstatic that they have joined us on our journey. Love will come to you. Maybe not in your time frame, so you need to be happy with your own company until that right someone does come along.
So how do we go about becoming the right person? How do we find the patience to wait on love while we are making ourselves into the right person to be loved?
Become the person that walks in love and not just wishes for it.
There's this saying: The way you do anything is the way you do everything. We can put that into practice here. Your "anythings" are your unconscious decisions that you make on a daily basis. Your way of doing things. The evolutional attitude you've created. And it can be observed in everything you do. We prefer to focus on what we want to see and hear, both for the good and bad. And that's true of everyone. But no matter how we try and taint or twist the evidence we present to others for our favor, actions reveal our true character. So make sure your character is one that can stand the test.
All of your "anythings" create your everything life. You are who you are in the dark. So, perhaps we should shine the light and look at who you really are and how the rest of the world sees you?
I am just under six feet tall and I have bright red hair. My mother made it a point to teach me, that no matter where I am, or where I go, someone is always watching me. She wasn't necessarily telling me this to frighten me, she was reminding me that I stick out like a sore thumb and if I do something stupid, I WILL get caught. And it worked. I took years of ballet to make sure I walk with poise and grace. I've studied etiquette to be sure I always have polite manners... so on and so forth... Now that I am a public figure, my character is up for grabs as well. (1 Timothy 4:12) I am not perfect by any means, and in spite of my many years of ballet, I still manage to fall flat on my face. But I do try and live an honest life. What you see is what you get. I try to walk in love. I have bad days, just like everyone else, but how you do anything is how you do everything. Even on those bad days, I walk in love. There may be an edge to my voice, or my eyes may not sparkle through whatever I'm going through, but hopefully you will know that I am sending love your way.
As you know, I am a big component of if you give love you will receive love. Sometimes not in the direction you were expecting, but the rule has always held true for me. Meaning, you see this totally beautiful person standing across the room so you send out love in his direction... he may not respond. But that love will bounce around the room and suddenly, someone will come up to you and tell you that you have the most beautiful smile. So, it may not be from the hot guy, but that only means that he wasn't for you. So keeping that in mind, are you giving love? Are you the kind of person others can love? Do you walk in love? Are you patient and kind? Do you show respect for others? Do you live a life of integrity? You can only pretend to be someone else for a short amount of time. The real you will always come to the surface. Who are you when no one else is around?
Love is sacrificial and learning to put others first. Are you in a "ME" kind of mindset?
If you have been making the same kind of relationship mistakes over and over and ending up in the same hurtful place, start with yourself. Do you love yourself? If you don't love you, how can someone else? Look hard in the mirror. Fall in love with the face staring back at you. Let love begin with you. Create a fulfilling, healthy, whole relationship with you. Make the changes that need to be made that will make others see how truly wonderful you are. How you do anything is how you do everything. Start with you. Walk in love. Put others first. Send love out and it will come back to you.
Men Tell Their Secrets
I'm fascinated at how couples work. What makes two people stick it out to make a relationship work. What is it about one person over another that makes men decide to commit to that one person for the rest of their life? So, I've been asking married men "What's the secret to a happy marriage?" for months now, and I've pulled out a select few to share with you and I think you'll find their answers compelling, emotional, funny and heart-warming. So without further ado and in no particular order, I give you Men's Secret to a Happy Marriage...
Mark M. Married 24 years:
"I married my high school sweet heart. I'd say it would have to be patience. On both our parts."
Pete L. Married 53 years:
"It's a give and take. Lord knows I'm not perfect. We take it one day at a time. One day at a time."
Ken E. Married 26 years:
"Suffering through chicken night with a smile on my face for twenty-six years!"
Matt C. Married 7 years:
"Having kids. Seeing that it's a bit of each of you; you created them, together. It makes you want to try harder."
Bill W. Married 40 years:
"Don't sweat the small stuff and it all ends up being small stuff."
Jeff O. Married 31 years:
"Be intentional. Make her a priority."
Harmon C. Married 38 years:
"I don't make any decisions without her. (I basically do what she tells me to do!) It took me about twenty years to figure that out."
Bill J. Married 27 years:
"Wait. Don't get married until you're WAY out of adolescence. I waited until I was thirty-six. Then, just take it one day at a time."
Mark M. Married 26 years:
"When it comes to money, come to a mutual agreement. Listen. Not just listen, but hear her. And... don't make sports THE top priority!"
Larry S. Married 51 years:
"Always put her first. Make sure her needs are taken care of. She does the same for me."
John S. Married 42 years:
"Have the same religious base... and forgiveness. You're going to make a lot of mistakes. Forgiveness is a must.
Russ I. Married 6 years:
"Find someone that will put up with you!"
Jim L. Married 52 years:
"Just keep saying 'Yes Dear'!"
Bill H. Married 43 years:
"Communication... and don't lie. She tells me everything and I tell her everything. You can lie to anyone else, but don't lie to each other. That's the fastest way to lose trust. I know I can trust her about anything and she trusts that I will always be there for her."
Thirudathi R. Married 30 years:
"Trust. Trust is the key."
Dave H. Married 55 years:
"She's always right!"
Kevin N. Married 39 years:
"The minister said till death do us part. That means for the good and bad. So, that was that."
Ulli H. Married 35 years:
"Trust. If you cross that line, you can't go back."
Jerry D. Married 54 years:
"Always love each other. No matter what. And learn to compromise."
Knowles T. Married 39 years:
"I believe in communicating and sticking it out through thick and thin and forgiving."
Bob O. Married 27 years:
"Compromise. It's not so much about me but rather 'us'. Pay her a compliment every day. It costs little but it means so much."
Ken G. Married 49 years:
"Tolerance. And let me tell you that when you work so hard at being tolerant in your marriage, you're allowed to be LESS tolerant in other areas. Mine is driving. I go so irritated with ignorant drivers! Especially in traffic!"
David O. Married 55 years:
"Patience. Love and patience."
Matt M. Married 20 years:
"Respect each other."
John K. Married 38 years:
"The wife rules!! But other than that, I think openness and honesty."
Martin V. Married 5 years:
"Wait fifty years! I wasn't going to be a statistic, so I waited for the right one. It was lonely, and I thought I was going to be a bachelor forever and then I met her."
Charles E. Married 14 years:
"Know when to shut up."
A few were kind enough to answer a bonus question for me...
How did you know she was the one?
John K: Married 38 years:
"We dated for five years. I don't know, it was just... a feeling."
Martin V. Married 5 years:
"We met at a group meeting for people who have seizures. And I loved her personality."
Thirudathi R. Married 30 years:
"We went to school together. I really liked her. We were just on the same frequency. I went to my father and asked if I could marry her and he arranged it. We started as friends that turned into love." (He comes from India and their marriages are usually arranged for them.)
Bill H. Married 43 years:
"We lived in the same neighborhood and I even delivered the newspaper to her house. But we didn't go out on a date until after we graduated. I tried to fight it. I didn't want to settle down, but everyone else knew she was the one. I got sent away for a few months because of my job, and I just didn't want to be without her. Or worse, I didn't want her to find somebody else! Finally, I didn't want to fight it any more."
Russ I. Married 6 years:
(See his above comment!) "She put up with me!"
John S. Married 42 years:
"She told me! But seriously, I was in the service and we were separated for three months. I couldn't stand it. I was only eighteen and had to have my mom sign for permission to allow me to get married! I got leave and we got married. We haven't been separated since."
Thank you gentlemen for talking with me and being able to offer up these insights to my readers. I love hearing everyone's stories, and I'd love to hear yours too! Do you have a secret to share? What's the secret to your happy relationship and how did you know that your mate was "the one"?
Regret- verb: to feel sad, repentant or disappointed over something that has happened or has been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity.
No one makes it through life without regrets. Some can be minor and only bring a minor sting upon its remembrance, but others can feel like a heavy burden being drug around which can effect your present attitude and happiness in your future.
Many regrets come from decisions that we've made that we wish we hadn't but it seems the most painful regrets are the ones in which we chose NOT to do something. We opted to take a safer, risk-free route instead of stepping out of our comfort zone and seeing what would happen.
Let's look first at what we can do with the regrets that we still have hanging around our neck.
-Face your regrets. Really take a moment to look at them. Why is it classified as a regret? Was it a choice you made? Was it something that was out of your control? Something someone else did? Pull all those painful, embarrassing, angry emotions up to the surface.
- Take responsibility for your part. Avoid blaming others when you know ultimately we are rarely ever guilt-free.
-Forgive. Forgive yourself. Forgive anyone else that was involved. Your past is your past. Forgiveness is going to take away those heavy feelings and begin the healing process, which in turn lets you let go.
-Grieve. Now's the time to get all those emotions out and let them go. Sadness, anger, guilt, embarrassment... let them go.
-Learn from them. Let every experience be a learning experience. Don't make the same mistake twice.
"I made decisions that I regret, and took them as a learning experiences... I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else."
- Queen Latifah
And now, on to preventing those regrets of I wish I would have...
-Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret. All growth begins at the end of your comfort zone. Take a risk. You'll never know if you don't try. The hardest part is taking the first step.
-It's better to have a lifetime of experiences and mistakes that helped you grow and hone your skills, rather than an empty lonely heart and a past of empty, un-fulfilled dreams.
-Don't let your past regret dominate your future goals. Reach for your dreams. You may fall short and you may even fail, but you'll never have to say, "I wish I had..." Go after your dreams and don't let anyone discourage you. Listen politely to others. Take the advice you can use, discard the rest. The final decision is yours. You will have no one else to blame if you don't take the chance.
-It's not too late. Start today. You are on the cusp of a brand new year. Take this opportunity to jot down a few goals or just some things you want to concentrate on for the new year. How do you want to improve your mind? Job? Relationships? Finances? How will you choose to give back to others? What new things are you excited about learning? What do you have to do to get started? Take that first step.
"Get correct views of life and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good and when summoned away, to leave without regret."
-Robert E. Lee
The past is a memory. You don't live there anymore. The future is an anticipated thought. All we truly have is this moment. We keep forgetting that because we always look to the future for our happiness and it never gets here. It's always in the future. Pay attention to today. Don't let your life happen without you. Don't look back, into your past, into your memories, and see too many regrets.
Start making your list now, and start on the prep work in between all the holiday shopping, baking, and visiting so you'll be ready when the new year hits and you'll be able to hit the ground running!
Share your progress with me! Get an accountability partner! Get ready to launch an all new no regrets kind of year!!
There's a lot of changes going on at the Elizabeth Bourgeret camp and when you visit the website, it's like going to a playground and not being able to play on anything! I know there are a lot of new tabs to click on that are not giving you the information that you're looking for, but I promise you, we're working on it!
The teen photo shoot is scheduled for this Sunday, and that was part of the hold up because we need the images from the photo shoot. (If you haven't signed up for the shoot and still want to, click on the camera icon on the home page for all the details.) And, honestly, there is just SO much happening that I'm having trouble keeping up! All good things, I assure you.
As you might have seen, I'm opening up my Teen Life Coaching sessions on a broader (more public) scale and the brand new Total Truth Teen Workshop which will be launched in St. Louis in January 2014! (Then, look for it in your city after that!) I have switched my schedule around so I can kick my speaking engagement opportunities up a notch and yes, on top of that, I will still be writing my fiction novels and non-fiction books. The next fiction, Waiting for the Sun, should be released in Spring of 2014. And that's not all! There's more! But I'll tell you about those things another time! As you can see, things are pretty busy around here!
So, I just wanted to thank you for your patience and to ask you to please come back and visit when it all gets set up and running smoothly! I'll be sure to share in more detail with you all the new things that are going on. I just know you'll be excited right along with me! I anticipate that the site will be completed by October 14th. (Whoo! There's something about putting that date out there that motivates me to work twice as hard! Don't want to disappoint!)
I hope you will like the changes that are coming and it will benefit your lives in positive ways. I am already so blessed that I didn't think it could get any better, but I am happy to be wrong!