Let It Begin With You

Photo by Steve Frank

​Let It Begin With You
 
With it being a new year, it seems like everyone automatically hits the “restart” button and is on a search to make their lives… better, more productive; their bodies, healthier, skinnier, stronger.  Their thoughts more wholesome, or more private or public, learn more, change for the better.
 
We all seek transformation.
 
It makes sense.  While the thoughts of these changes may flit about our thoughts for moments or months, the new year gives us a starting date.  Walking up to that white line at the beginning of a “race” is intimidating enough, but when the rest of the world is joining you in their various audits, it doesn’t seem as impossible.
 
The trick is to find what works and what will stay with you for the duration of the project, the goal or the lifetime.
 
Change must begin with you.  It can’t happen from the outside in.  There could be circumstances that happen TO us that may force our hand, but in the end, it still has to be our choice.  Our change.
 
The doctor may tell you that if you don’t quit smoking, you will shorten your life by X- amount of time.  You must choose how important/valuable that time could be.  And then take steps according to the value you’ve placed on his advice.  Quit smoking?  Cut back?  He’s a quack…
 
In my line of coaching, unfortunately, I do not ask for quick changes.  I’m not the one you seek out when you are looking for different food diets to lose a few pounds, or room customizations, or resolutions that will be let go in a few months.  My teaching/training/coaching demands so much more.  I deal with heart transformation.  Life changes. Love changes.
 
We only have one life and how you are remembered by others, is a question I ask myself on a daily basis and then act accordingly.  That is my line of “work”.  It my calling to Lead with Love and teach others the same methods.
 
Now that I’ve lured you in and if you are still reading, perhaps your heart needs some tweaking and you are looking for some ways to take small steps to change your inner-love values*.
 
Here are just a few, simple suggestions to add to your New Year daily dose of becoming a better person adgenda…

1. Don’t forget to say “Thank You”.

Two little words.  They don’t cause pain to utter them, but they can make a world of difference.  Say them with a smile, and you are golden.  People need to feel appreciated.  We need to feel that you have noticed.  It doesn’t take much effort, but start noticing.  Start acknowledging.  Start appreciating.  Say “thank you.”

1. The Power of Compliments.

Okay, this one might take you a bit out of your comfort zone if it’s something you’re not used to doing.  This is just taking your positive mental observations and making them vocal.  If you like the way someone did their hair, tell them.  If you can see that a co-worker has gone above and beyond, let them know.  If your child helped with the laundry, let them know how awesome it was to have some help.
You don’t have to get all creepy and stalker-ish, but don’t you love to be complimented?  We are often so hard on ourselves that while we are so busy tearing ourselves down, someone out there thinks you are amazing. 
It took me a long time for me to learn how to accept a compliment without downplaying the comment, but now, it is so appreciated because they didn’t have to say anything.  They could have kept their comments to themselves, but they chose to share it with me.  And so often, I am so surprised that I am twice as grateful that whatever it was had not escaped their notice.  And belive me, your kind words will stay with that someone for a long time to come.
Another benefit of compliments, is it helps to build up another person’s self-esteem.  And as we all know, the stronger your self love foundation, the stronger you are able to withstand harmful words, attentions and actions.  Isn’t it better to give someone a stronger shield than to pierce it yourself?  (P.S. It ends up building your self confidence as well!  Win-win!)

1. Start With the Family

Sometimes our family members get the brunt of our foul moods, because we know they are family and they will love us anyway.  While we may still love you, it gets hard to withstand only seeing the negative side of your brilliant personality.
Yes, be yourself, but you can also be considerate. 
Remember your manners.  Just because they are related to you doesn’t mean you don’t need to say “please” and “thank you”.
Don’t take and take and take- what can you do to give back?  So many adults are angry with a family member because they feel they are not getting the attention they feel they deserve.  My question to you is, what are YOU doing to participate with the family?  How often do YOU reach out to each of THEM?
Aging Parents- It’s taken an enormous amount of time, money, effort, patience and love to raise you into adulthood.  Don’t take it for granted.  Be respectful.  Be patient.  It is such a difficult thing to KNOW that you are not as sharp or as healthy or as quick as you once were.  It’s not like they don’t know of the changes happening in their lives.  Life is busy.  You have a life of your own.  But don’t forget that at one time you were their whole life.  Keep them in the loop.

1. The Power of the Pause

Before you utter a sound, pause… are those words encouraging? Uplifting? Helpful? Kind?  A nano-second of a pause could save a lifetime of damage.
 
 
I hope these simple starters are tiny little adjustments that you could add to your “attitude regiment” to have really and truly a happier and heart healthy new year and lasting relationships.
 
* For more reading, Love Begins With You is available on Amazon!

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