Broken Ribs and a Cup of Coffee

Here I am... just sitting... the temperatures are dropping outside and if you know absolutely anything about me, that is a sign of fear and dread in my world.  

I have been a snowbird for the last seven years and was pretty happy with that way of life.  
I'd winter where it was warm, 97% of the time.   I was usually near water.  I was able to get out and about to explore most days.  (Hurricane season was sometimes tricky, but it's not like they sneak up on you.  You have a pretty good idea of when they're coming and if you need to pack up or not!) 

When the danger of cold weather was past, I could make my way up north to visit family and see what else I could find; dragging my camper along behind ready for new adventures. 

I haven't owned a winter coat in seven years.  I barely wear shoes, for that matter.  I am SUCH a beach baby at heart.

Well... this year is going to be a bit different.  I am officially trapped in colder weather. 
The first weekend in October, I busted my ribs.  I didn't think much of it at the time, but five days later, when I was still having trouble breathing, I went in and had it x-rayed.  One rib  broken, one fractured.  Not a thing they can do for it except to tell me to be still for the next 6-8 weeks and don't lift anything over 5-8 pounds. 
Trapped.  Trapped in cold weather until at least the end of the year. 

Trying the see the best in a freezing situation, I find myself inside a new experiment.  How to make this the best winter ever?  It's a big ask.  The cold weather is not just something I complain about for fun (we all have to have our "thing"). The cold, damp weather is actually pretty painful for me since I have arthritis in a good number of my joints.  But, it could be worse.  I could certainly be worse.

I choose to fill my brain with happy thoughts.  I flood my heart with gratitude.  I reflect on all the ways that I am blessed.
​I am near my family.  A rarity since I have found wings... I haven't spent Christmas with my grandchildren in all those years of snow-birding, because... well... cold.  (I transferred my Christmas spirit to Easter.  Easter is my favorite holiday and I pull out all the stops for this holiday!). But this year, I get to spoil them EXTRA, actually ON Christmas!  (Their parents may even INSIST I head back to the south by the time I get done! Lol!)

With out being allowed to do much other than sit around and forcefully  WILL my bones to grow back together, it allows me to brainstorm and putter around with other ideas I've been wanting to do, but just couldn't find the time ... Boy, have I got time now!   This is the best injury when you have a laptop close by! (Hint- I ALWAYS have a laptop close by.)
​
I'm ahead in my Bag of Bones Podcast episodes for the first time in... forever.  That feels pretty good.  I'm working on the new book that now I have NO excuse for it not being released on time at the beginning of December.   Plus plans for a years-worth of new books to come out in 2023.  (The way my luck runs is that I'll get all these things started then get released from couch therapy and be right back in the rat race!)
The damage was enough that I was informed that I probably won't be able to travel the way I was used to and that I will need to make some pretty severe changes in my future activities.  If that ends up being the case, I am so grateful for my adventures over the years and wouldn't trade them for anything.  I'll have to be more careful where I end of an invalid next time though, THAT'S for sure!
Okay fine... I know you're asking but how... how did you break your ribs? I was broken in the most loving way possible.  With a hug.  A hug from a 21 year old football player that was just trying to pop my back.  And he did... just went a little beyond that.  I heard a crunch, but neither of us believed that I was actually broken... 
The evening wore on and I was hugged again and again and the more you love someone, you just want to squeeze them so tight so they know right?  Can I just say, I am SO LOVED.  Each squeeze probably added to the fracture. 
Adding to that... I am pretty active and chest pain or no chest pain, work had to be done, so I pushed through it lifting and carrying... just doin' what I do... until I couldn't anymore.
My jaw dropped when I saw the x-ray.
So now I sit.  Trying to figure out how I'm going to be able to NOT step one foot out the door until the crocus comes up.  Not gonna happen, so I sip my coffee and snuggle under the piles of blankets begrudging letting others take care of me.  I am so loved.  I must keep my whining to a minimum.  

The Short Definition of Love

​When you are asked the question, what is love?    It can conjure up definitions, quotes, stories, experiences and scripture.  And while every single one of those has truth, I'm going to oversimplify the definition today.
Love means putting others first.
There you go. Done.  

Bottom line, love means putting others before yourself.  Seem too simple?  Let's break it down.
When you love someone or want to show love to someone, anyone, you want their happiness.  And you are willing to put your needs second to ensure their happiness.  No one shows this better than a parent. 
Our children eat before we do... Our children sleep before we sleep... Our children get new clothes, haircuts, new toys, new technology and we are playing catch-up; happy with the few moments to ourselves in the bathroom! Lol
No matter how old our children are... you never lose that feeling.  I would do everything in my power for my children if that was in their best interest.  I love them with every fiber of my being.  It comes natural to me.

In our intimate relationships, the same is applied. If you want nothing more than your partner to be happy, and he/she want's nothing more than your happiness, then you have found the right equation.
What things do you do in your relationships to see that your love relationships are your priority?

When you love someone else, you are constantly thinking, what would be in their best interest?
Selfishness thinks only of oneself.  Love thinks of others.
It's not about what you can get.  The power you can wield.  It's about what you can give. How can you help?  What can you do to make their life easier?  What would make them smile?  
It's not about following blindly, or losing yourself within someone else.  It's about helping them to shine and you grow from their glow.

Love is shown in similar forms all day every day and can be displayed with everyone you meet.
Love is opening the door for someone else. 
...letting someone go in front of you in line.
... buying someone else's order.
... smiling

Following the simplicity of this rule, sometimes, showing love, by putting others first isn't always easy.  At times, there are tough choices to be made still keep their best interests in mind.  
By putting others first, does not mean you become a doormat.  (That is usually the first argument I get when I talk on this.)  It does not mean you have to do whatever the other person says, just to make them happy.  It does not mean that you have to go against your beliefs or endanger you or your family in any way.  If they ask you to do any of those things, they are not seeing you through eyes of love and you will have to make some tough decisions.
Sometimes you have to make that call to the addiction hotline to get your love some help.
Sometimes it means you have to walk away from an abusive relationship to save yourself.
Sometimes you have to stand firm on a decision if it means the best for your family.
Love does NOT mean to follow blindly.  If the other person loved you, was putting YOU first, you wouldn't have to be making these difficult decisions.  You can love them, still, and love yourself too.  By putting others first, it is a sacrifice.  But you shouldn't be in love by yourself. 
Recognize love coming back to you.  Recognize when it does not.

Love is putting others first.  The end.  If the ones you are in a relationship with are not putting you first?  They are not in love.  If you are not putting them first?  Guess what?  You're not in love either.