I Need a Job
I have been unemployed now for three whole days…
I had visions of giving up the J.O.B. and spending the afternoons sprawled on the beach… sipping wine and leisurely writing under my big colorful umbrella. That’s not what happened…
I am a self-proclaimed work-aholic. And as much as I feel I have rebelled against it my entire life, I need structure. Structure as to work these hours, eat here, breathe some fresh air here, speak to another human here…
When left to my own devices… it is not healthy.
So, in my last three days, I have not put real clothes on, put on make-up or even brushed my hair. I did leave my morning alarm in place only to have the immense pleasure of turning it off and rolling back over to attempt sleep. If it wasn’t for my dog having to go outside, I wouldn’t have seen the light of day… The sunshine beckons me, but I have so much to do… later, sunshine….
I wake up, make my coffee, and head straight for the computer. My Leading With Love Tour is scheduled to take off in a matter of weeks and there is SO much to do in addition to my regular writing deadlines. So- there I am, in front of my computer all day… all night… nothing and no one to distract me. No job to make me stop and face the world and change gears. So around 8:30- 9:00 at night, I realize that I haven’t eaten anything… all day. So I stuff my face with whatever is available so I can get back to work.
And guess what is in my eyesight…It’s been the gifts everyone has given me from the last days at the job. Cherry Coffee Cake, chocolate covered almonds, chocolate bars, popcorn, Sierra Mist, and… veggie dip. (Luckily I had some broccoli and cauliflower in the fridge… the healthiest thing I had all week.)
I eat until I’m full, and then head back to the computer. I am not very tech savvy so I am struggling with the learning curve of some new marketing techniques. SO much to do. The workaholic in me demands that I conquer this new stuff. So much to do. So much pressure I put on myself.
So at some point in the wee hours of the morning, I drag myself to my bed and smile as I snuggle into the layers of blankets. I think about the things I am grateful for and close my eyes to sleep.
… and then my brain decides to reflect on the days activities, the to-do list for tomorrow (which is technically only hours away), and some really great NEW ideas that I should try…. Right now. And not so gently reminds me that there is still so much to do... with accompanying deadlines...
My alarm goes off and with heavy eyelids and a smile I turn it back off. Roll over, snuggle back in… and my brain says… “You know… I’ve been thinking…”
Structure… not to be underestimated. I’ll work on that tomorrow…