Build Your Community

Build Your Community

​Do you believe the statement:  You are the average of the five people you hang around with the most?

I have differing feelings on the statement.  While I feel that it is good to be around people that will encourage and motivate you.  You are responsible to make the best choices for yourself and shouldn't let those around you have that much of an influence in your decisions.  Like if you have to make a choice for a new job.  You'd appreciate the opinions of those around you, but the final choice is yours.  You are not SO influenced by your peers (as an adult anyway... I hope) that you would just follow blindly by what your fave five would say.  And if, for instance, your circle of people make choices to go out and party when you know you have to work first thing in the morning, the choice is still yours to go out or not and they will most likely still be your friends in the morning.  However, if those same people continue in that same behavior on a regular basis and you are trying to become something else, it may be better to put some space between you and this set of friends.

I'm sure it goes without saying that you should not be friends or hang out with people who are toxic or continue to be a drain on you.  If spending time with certain people brings you down, even if it is family, sometimes, it's better not to spend that time with them.  Life is too short to spend it with people that are going to suck the fun out of it for you!  I understand that you have family obligations but you are only required to love your family, you don't necessarily have to like them.  Especially if they spend too much time tearing you down instead of lifting you up, using you instead of being there for you, or finding fault with you instead of seeing your qualities.

Do you find yourself around people who's favorite pastime is complaining or criticizing others?  They fall into the "toxic" category as well.  When people constantly complain, they drain the energy from the room.  And even if you are a strong minded person, sometimes their negativity can spread into your system before you even know it.  Then suddenly, you are looking at things from a glass half empty perspective and don't realize it until you've gotten away from that environment.  It's happened to me.  I've let the other negative people in the room completely throw off my happy mood.  It happened so quickly that I didn't realize it until I started hearing the toxins coming from my own mouth!  Guard your emotions!! 

Be careful not to become a toxic person yourself!  Don't make other people have to choose to stay away from you because you make them sad or feel unappreciated.  Here's some quick questions for you: Do you try to find the silver lining?  Can you see the good things in people?  Is there always another way to try something, do something, see something?  If you answered yes, you're probably doing alright. 

Try to surround yourself with positive, up-beat, encouraging people.  People that will show you new ways to be better at something.  People that will take you to the next level on the path you are following.  Choose to learn from people who have done what you want to do.  Create your tribe of like-minded, people.

Someone once said, "Never be the smartest person in the room.  If you are, find new friends or find a new room!"  Always keep learning and growing.  Surround yourself with loving and nourishing people.  If you can't find someone you can actually, physically be around, use the internet and all of its wonderful social media to find wisdom and encouragement.  Follow the people that you admire or have the careers that you strive for.  Learn from the best!

So, do I agree with the above statement?  I can see some validity in it, but I do have some people in my circle that aren't the "best" people for me, but I may be the "best" people for them... and I love them.  Only tolerate what you can tolerate and not an ounce more.  If the scale tipped to the side that I felt I was not being helpful to them or they taxed my emotion too much, I would definitely make space between us.  I can't support others who only want to tear down.  It makes me sad and it's against every thing I believe in.  Don't be around people that make you unhappy.  It may be a difficult decision to step away from them and go out on your own, but you will be happier for it in the long run.  
I think it is better to say- have balance.  Know what your limits are and what/who could influence you and use that rule when you decide who to make a priority in your life.  Be happy.  Live, Love and Learn.

So, what is your opinion of Jim Rohn's Rule of 5?  Leave your comments below!

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