Today was bring donuts to work day!! And while my co-workers might have thought it was a conspiracy against their waistlines, they found it in their heart to partake of the sweet deep fried icing covered deliciousness!!
My experiment of kindness has back-fired more than I ever expected. Now when I do something for someone, (perhaps the exact same thing I would have done a month ago) it is now looked upon as something to check off my list. I'm "only" doing it because of the Kindness Challenge. I can't tell you how much this irks me. I'm beginning that this kindness challenge was indeed a bad idea. It is not bringing me the happiness or communion that I was so hoping for. It has had quite the opposite effect. I feel more alone as people think that I am "fake" all of a sudden and then the being "better than every one else" still stings a bit too. It's only day eight. Things may turn around, you never know. But in the meantime... I'll keep on loving others- the way I always do- plus a little extra so I can continually strive to be a better person. That's all I can do. Everyone else has to take care of themselves... No one is making you eat the donuts I bring...
My experiment of kindness has back-fired more than I ever expected. Now when I do something for someone, (perhaps the exact same thing I would have done a month ago) it is now looked upon as something to check off my list. I'm "only" doing it because of the Kindness Challenge. I can't tell you how much this irks me. I'm beginning that this kindness challenge was indeed a bad idea. It is not bringing me the happiness or communion that I was so hoping for. It has had quite the opposite effect. I feel more alone as people think that I am "fake" all of a sudden and then the being "better than every one else" still stings a bit too. It's only day eight. Things may turn around, you never know. But in the meantime... I'll keep on loving others- the way I always do- plus a little extra so I can continually strive to be a better person. That's all I can do. Everyone else has to take care of themselves... No one is making you eat the donuts I bring...
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