Have you ever heard the saying, "If you don't water the plant, if will surely die"? It is not only referring to your lovely house plants, it is referring to your relationships. Far, far too often we take our relationships for granted and "coast" assuming that since everything has been fine, it should continue to be fine. That is so not true. In fact that's a guaranteed way to slowly deteriorate your relationship.
Your relationship with your mate is possibly the most important relationship that you choose to go into. One that you have to work the hardest at and one that should never be taken for granted. But it is also the one that will have the biggest effect on your overall happiness in your everyday life. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. When you have a fight with your partner it affects you for the whole day, am I right? Looking at the bigger picture, the partner you choose will have that kind of power over your emotions whether you want him/her to or not. Whether you fight it or not or whether you can hide it or not, it will still get to you.
Love WILL die because of neglect. Love is a constant emotion. It will grow when it is fed and it will die if left un-tended. Like a plant, it will whither away with out regular "feedings." You need to take an active role in your partner's life, feeding, encouraging and never letting doubt creep in. If you get to the point where you take your love for granted, it has already begun to whither away and death is imminent.
Love is an unselfish thing. You think about what your partner wants or needs before you do anything, make decisions, before you act. Lust is a selfish act. You are thinking only of your self gratification. To love unselfishly is an act of trust and commitment. You have to trust that your partner will do the same for you. One of my favorite things to remind couples is that if you are both giving 100%, (Not 50/50) nothing can fall through the cracks. You are giving one hundred percent to your relationship, and so is your partner. That's loving unconditionally and unselfishly.
That doesn't mean there won't be problems, but you go into them knowing that no one is going to run away. You're going to work them out, together.
This same rule applies to watering the plants.
Don't let things become stale. Don't just assume things. It's one thing to "know" your partner, it's another to assume to know things. Take what you know, and use it to enhance your relationship.
Loving and connecting to others is a trait that comes naturally to me, but to others its a skill that needs to be learned. It may feel uncomfortable at first, or maybe even forced, but if you stick with it, you'll be able to see how your love will grow into a sincere, deep, enduring love. Here are a few ideas to help get you started.
Never stop dating each other. Always court her. Dress up for him. Keep things fresh. Become aware of areas that you might have let things lapse. It might be a pain to apply make-up after a long day of child wrangling, but it will make your man feel loved and appreciated. Don't want to take a walk while the game is on, I get it, but it will make her feel special and important. Boredom can quickly kill a relationship.
Make each other a priority. End of story. His/her needs should never fall too low on your list. I understand that life is busy but this is the person that you have chosen to be your partner. The one that you want with you through the good times and the bad and if you neglect that relationship, you will end up alone and always searching for what you might have had all along. It's more than romance. It's respect. It's value. It's friendship. Nothing that is worth anything comes easy. Invest in your partner and it will pay you back it triplicate.
Quality time. When you are able to carve out some time for each other, make sure there are no other interruptions. Make your mate the most important, beautiful, loved person in the room.
Communication. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't let to much time pass before you settle differences. Say, "I love you" every night before you fall asleep whether your angry or not. Make sure your partner knows that no matter what, you're still there. NEVER, never let doubt creep into his/her thoughts. The imagination can be a wicked thing and we tend to think the worse. Don't be afraid to open up to each other. Develop that trust with one another. It can only make your relationship stronger.
If you are a parent, the best thing you can do for your children is to show them that you love and respect their other parent. Children will grow up feeling more secure and will be less likely to fall into un-loving, defeating relationships.
When love is tended to, it will grow and blossom within itself and spread to the other areas of your life.
Grow your love and watch what happens.
Lume is a sponsor of the Bag of Bones Podcast and of this website! If you are looking to trade in your chemical based deodorant, for one that is all natural and works better, would you please consider Lume?
Click the link below to learn more about their products!