We all make mistakes. No one is perfect. We have all made painful decisions that we wish we hadn't. No one is free from that. No one. I wish I could take the pain away that is associated with your past, the fact is that it happened that way for a reason. You hopefully learned something; grew from your mistakes, and if that's the case- Good for you. Because you have learned to make your stumbling block your stepping stone. You are who you are today, because of the things in your past- good or bad.
But for the others who are carrying around guilt, self-loathing, bitterness and anger, I am here to say let it go. You are dragging your past into your future where it was not meant to be. There is nothing so big that you cannot be forgiven for (Acts 10:43), but the one you need forgiveness from in most cases is yourself. Let it go...
Your brain is a powerful thing. It obeys what you tell it to do. When you put it on auto-pilot, it can dredge up some painful images and show them to you over and over again allowing them to tell yourself things that just aren't true. "You weren't good enough for her." "You aren't smart enough to get into that college." "You deserve to unhappy." "You have done some bad, bad things." Every time you replay those images, they get a little bit stronger. They take over a little more of your thought process. Your brain is SO amazing that not only will it display those images, but it can cause you to evoke the emotions that go right along with it. So if you think on it, real hard, it's like the same painful thing is happening again, right now, making those memories and wounds fresh again.
Is that really where you want to be? Do you really want to punish yourself over and over again for something that you can do absolutely nothing about? You can't change the past. You can't un-do anything that has already happened. But you can make choices for your future. Did you know that your brain will also do what you tell it to do? You don't have to be at the mercy of your memories. When those thoughts come at you, make the conscious effort to change the channel. You don't have to let those memories have control over you. Change the channel.
Quit thinking about it.
Quit talking about it.
Quit replaying the disappointments.
Quit reliving the hurt and the bad choices.
When you can't close the doors on the past, you are practically locking the doors to your future. You know the saying, when one door closes, another will open. Well the new door can't open if you haven't closed the old door! Your future can't truly begin if you're still lugging around the pain from your yesterdays. Change your future by taking control of your thoughts and letting the past stay in the past. Those thoughts WILL come up again, but you have to choose to guard your thoughts. Keep moving forward.
It doesn't matter where you were born. It doesn't matter how you were raised. It doesn't matter if he/she left you. It doesn't matter if you didn't get the job. You are not a victim.
How long are you going to blame outside events for your shortcomings? How long are you going to mourn for your losses? When is it time to turn things around and take on the future that you really and truly want? I'm not dismissing the things that have happened to you. But we have all had things, bad things, happen in our lives that we wish didn't happen. You still have a choice! Let go of the victim mentality. Let go of the bitterness. Let go of the anger, the hate and the anguish. Let go of the ashes so you can see the beauty.
Sometimes not getting what you thought you wanted is the blessing in and of itself. If it was meant to be, then it would be. You are not your past. You can't change your yesterdays, but you do have some input on all of your tomorrows. Use your powerful brain to see where it is that you want to be in your future. See the things that make you happy. Focus on the ones that you love and love you in return.
At some point, we have to decide when to let go. You've done all you can do. Nothing else is going to change for the better. You have to come to terms that it is over and done. We may not ever understand how we came to this point, "but here I stand, in the light of day" and you have to decide to move past it. If you continue to hang on, it will only drag you down. Let it go. Cut off the dead weight and feel the heaviness come off your shoulders. It is not until you acknowledge the end that a new beginning can start. It is where you are unwilling to walk away, that you will be forever stuck. You can't go backwards. You weren't meant to go back. You have a whole new life waiting for you to live it if you will just give it a chance.
Every morning is a clean canvas. A new chance to start over. Unlock the doors to your future. Change the channel. Forgive your past. Let it go.
Forgive those who have hurt you.
Forgive the man that broke your heart.
Forgive the woman that wouldn't give you a chance.
Forgive the boss who passed you over for the promotion.
Forgive the circumstances that led to pain or feelings of unjust.
Forgive. Whether it was something that happened ten minutes ago or ten years ago. Forgive.
This does not mean that your life will be easy. There will be new trials and temptations and painful events that will blindside you, just repeat. Forgive and let it go.
Isaiah 43:18-19 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."